Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Utility Room Remodel: No More Icky Concrete Floor

Yeah No more icky concrete floor- This is not the full remodel of my Utility Room but it is a start- Eventually we will get the new shelves up and the folding table but for now it is a start. Hubs finally tiled the icky concrete floor that I have been living with for at least 4 years. We aren't very speedy with home improvement projects.
Icky concrete floor. Those will be the new tiles.
Brand new washer and dryer. My old set died. I should have taken a picture of my old ones before they were hauled away but I didn't.
Had to get the laundry caught up before the project could start. Reminds me of the comment Milehi Mama said about her dryer throwing up in her bedroom. Mine well threw up in the living room LOL

Hubs cutting tile with the borrowed tile saw.
Placing the tile or gluing them down-- Whatever it is called in tiling talk.

Now for the grouting. Was worried the grout we picked was coming out too dark but it lightened to what it was suppose to upon drying.
Hubs hooking my new washer and dryer back up.
Very nice!!! No More icky concrete floor. :-)

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Why have my hubs and I stayed together for close to 24 years mostly happy and contented?

Why have my hubs and I stayed together for close to 24 years mostly happy and contented? I don't really know, and as I said what has worked for us, worked for us because of who we are. I cannot comment on anyone else's marriage. These next things are only things I am speculating about but certainly aren't rules to live by or anything.

First hubs and I come from similar backgrounds growing up. We both came from loving and stable families with no divorce. My parents passed away young ( at the ages of 54 and 55) but were happily married. Not in a giddy lovey, dovey way but in that contented satisfied way. Just very comfortable with each other and the daily routine. Not overly affectionate. I would say the same for my in-laws. My husband is less than a year older than me so we share the same nostalgia, likes and dislikes. We both came from church going families. He was raised in a non-denom fundamentalist church. I was raised in a conservative Anglican church (I became a fundamentalist in college). I thought when I started attending the Catholic church, that was going to be a big issue because my very fundamentalist husband had some very fundamentalist misconceptions about the Catholic church in the beginning, Through lots of prayer, bible study, lots of discussion amazingly my husband has become a very devout Catholic (Better than me). So that is just an amazing plus that we still share the same faith and are on the same wavelength. (I wrote alot about that in My Faith Journey to the Catholic Church from Fundamentalism/Evangelicalism

We were married relatively young right out of college so we both did not have a lot of baggage coming into the marriage. We shared basically the same dreams and goals when we got married and still do. We believe an ideal marriage should last and are both committed to that- Divorce isn't seen as an option. (I realize in other people's situations it may be necessary for a multitude of reasons, but for us it really isn't an option. However, things have never been really bad between us either). Not counting normal everyday squabbles, we have only had about 3 major knock down drag out fights in almost 24 years. In maybe the heat of the worst fight the "divorce" word might have come up. I can't really remember. He has never hit me in even the worst fight but he has pinned me against a wall. Probably our worst fight came in our 7th year of marriage. My parents both had terminal cancer and I was working full time teaching then. So there was a lot of stress at that time. I remember throwing a plate at him (I really can't remember what started the fight it was back in 94). Then I remember him locking himself in the bedroom to get away from me. I had a screw driver and made several holes in the door at which he climbed out the bedroom window. Anyway he came back a few hours later- I had calmed down, he had calmed down- we probably talked most of the evening- Actually, I think we wrote our grievances down on paper because talking still wasn't happening. But eventually worked it out. Then because we felt so guilty that we traumatized the kids, DS was 7 and DD was 5, Hubs took off work the next day and we took the kids to Disney MGM studios where we proceeded to traumatize my poor DD even more cause all the rides we went on seemed to include fire. Anyway that was probably our very very worst fight. We have had about 2 other bad fights. So at least when we have had bad fights the children have seen us get through it and make up. Neither one of us can hold a grudge and I have learned if I let things go Hubs will calm down in time. Now lets see marital intimacy. Hubs has an active drive and well mine has waxed and waned over the years. Right now I have zilch drive and I attribute that to possible peri-menopuse and the fact I have gained all my weight back and feel terribly unattractive in the bedroom. However Hubs drive has not waned and apparently my weight is not an issue. He says he still sees me as the same girl he met in college. (Ok we know that sounds like a sweet line but he is only saying that to get nooky) So we do get into some squabbles over that. Guys do feel neglected, uncared for and unloved if they are not getting it enough in most cases. I know TMI but hey it had to be mentioned. I feel unloved if I don't get enough attention. We have some silly marriage tapes of the secular variety called "Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars" have you heard of them? LOl But they do have some insightful advice and have some wisdom on how to communicate better. We also have a secular book called Why Men Don't Get Enough Sex and Women Don't Get Enough Love
There are some good insights there too.
Now with all that said - I have no idea how I lucked into a wonderful guy and if something were to happen to him I don't think I could find a better replacement. I would say we have our super happy fun times but the majority of the time it is contentment. We don't have trust issues. We make sure to have date nights and do fun things with each other. We have the same philosophy in child rearing (I call it the Cosby philosophy after the Cosby show in the 80's). The goal is for them to be happy and independent and moved out of the house. It's all about getting the house back LOL. Anyway Bottom line is I am extremely lucky and don't know why we beat the odds- but I certainly count my blessings everyday.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

My New Washer and Dryer

My new washer and dryer. They are both awesome, but the dryer is phenominal. I have never had a dryer that dried this fast. My bed spread was dry in 34 minutes! In my old dryer it would have taken an 1 1/2 to 2 hours. Lighter loads use to take at least an hour. I guess in 20 years I never had a good dryer and assumed that was just the norm. This dryer dries faster and things are dry in less time than it takes to wash a load- I use to always have to wait on the dryer. Oh and another cool thing instead of a beep at the end to let you know the wash or dryer is done it plays a little tune. Ok I am in washer and dryer heaven :-)

This is my utility room. I purposely did not take a picture of the yucky concrete floor. Hubs is in the process of tiling it- Ok so far he has only borrowed a special saw to cut the tile from a friend and done some measuring but I am hopeful by the end of the month to finally have a floor in the utility room plus some new shelves and a folding table. If it gets finished I will post pictures of the newly remodeled utility room.