Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Confessions of a Backslidden Weight Watcher's Receptionist

Me and Hubs, Christmas 2004 I am about 117lbs (up from my rock bottom of 108).

That is me on the left in 2005, and would you believe I thought I was heavy there.

That is me reuniting with a friend from Junior High. We spent the day at Hollywood Studios. I am the - Well you know- This is a picture at my heaviest weight, which I am still at by the way. The above picture was taken last Spring 2009- I really hate that picture.)

The above photo is the whole family last Dec 2008. One of very few full body photos I have since gaining weight. PS: I hate the haircut in the above photo too.

Here is another more recent one of me sitting in front of the computer. I avoid the camera like the plaque now so I don't have many full body shots but you can tell through the face.

Confessions of a Backslidden Weight Watcher's Receptionist
I am 5' 1" and 3/4 (just a smidge under 5' 2"). I grew up thin near the bottom of my weight range around 98 to 102 lbs, put on some weight after college when I got married but maintained around 112 to 115 lbs. Then in my late 20's, after 2 children, I put on about another 10 to 15 pounds. Then the weight exploded after child number 3. In my mid thitries, I got up to 172 pounds at the age of 37 and my 20th High school reunion was coming up. In about November 2001 I decided to go to Weight Watchers. Yes I decided to go the week before Thanksgiving of all weeks to start. Weight Watchers was and still is an awesome flexible workable program, but you do have to work the program to get results. It does take a conscious effort. Well the program worked really well and I steadily lost on average of 1.3 to 1.5 pound per week. It was more per week in the beginning and less per week as I got closer to my goal. I had lost 50 pounds by July 2002 and was at my goal of 121. Just in time for my 20th high school reunion. It was wonderful. Well my next goal was to make life time after 6 weeks of maintenance which I did around August 2002. Through maintenance I lost about another 5 pounds or so (Back then you could lose in the maintenance phase even if it was discouraged. Now I don't think they allow you to go too far below your goal). Anyway after goal I was aksed if I would like to work for them and I said yes. It was a great part time job for a stay at home mom. Not a lot of money, but I figured it would keep me motivated and help me to maintain the loss. The job was very flexibile and I could work the hours I wanted. I was not a WW leader because I really don't like getting up in front of people, but I loved being a receptionist. Receptionists weigh in people, do the record keeping, and the keep track of the meeting paperwork and sales etc. To work for WW you have to have lost weight with them and reached lifetime and then stay within your weight range for your height which is a pretty big range. For 5'1" it was like 106 pounds to 132 pounds. Well by January of 2003 I was down to the bottom of my healthy weight range around 106 to 108. Scarily thin. I have pictures somewhere. I had a pair of size 1 jeans would you believe? But the weight started slowly coming back on. Hey I thought, 132lbs is a long way away from 108lbs right? I have a huge cushion! I thought I would never be back at the high end of my weight range again, let alone over it. I stopped being fanatical about tracking and weighing my food. I was regularly exersicing but then came the summer of 2004. We had back to back hurricanes. -We weren't hit directly, but were skirted by at least 3. It seemed every couple weeks there was a warning and up went the plywood boards. Somehow that interrupted my going to the YMCA for workouts and I never got back into the habit of going again. I started really putting the weight back on in 2005. I let 5 pounds become 10 then 15 and well you know. It did not come on all at once, but slowly. I would maintain for awhile then let a little more creep back. Hey I was a busy mom. Then in 2007 I was back up to the top of my healthy weight range at 134 lbs. Actually that is 2 pounds over the weight range for my height. Now my WW job was in danger. You need to be at a healthy weight to work for them. The higher ups at WW are very nice and they went through the program just like me. They were willing to help in anyway they could and were not judgmental, but the weight couldn't keep creeping up. Eventually I was put on suspension to get it under control but since I was too embarrassed for gaining the weight back, I quit. That was a very, very bad idea because once I did that, in my head I kinda rebelled and proceeded to put on close to 50 more pounds from 2007 to present.

So here I am at (confession time, lowering my head in shame, drum roll please, 184 pounds). Meantime while I was gaining, my SIL who is my height and was very heavy after she had her baby went to weight watchers and was losing. She lost what I had gained. She went from big to looking fantastic and I went from fantastic to being big. She is struggling a bit now and she challenged me to get back on the wagon so to speak. I don't want to get down to the bottom of my range again. It is too hard to maintain, but I need to at least get back down in my healthy weight range.

So that is where I am at now. Boy did I want to pig out on leftover lamb this morning. But my SIL reminded me on FB of the challenge so instead I had a breakfast of 2 slices Whitewheat Bread for 1 WW point, 1 T. of light cream cheese for 1WWpt, I hard boiled Easter egg. and an orange. Total point for breakfast 5. I am going to have lamb for lunch but I will weigh it and count it.

So I may try to post my meals and WW recipes here daily. I have all the knowledge and know how. Been there did that. Now I just need the accountability again.

(Oh and why don't I actually go back to a live meeting you ask?- Well embarrassment. I worked with most of the leaders and receptionists in the area and they have not seen me at this weight. I know they would be accepting and caring but I'm not ready to go back at this point. Maybe if I lose 20 pounds first. )

I decided I didn't want to bog down this blog
with my Daily Weight Watcher's Food Journal
so I created a new blog just for my Food journal.


Beckye said...

thankyou. Last month was rough for me- illness, pinched nerve, crazy period where i kept swelling until the day after, inlaws who eat crap etc. I am trying to get back in the swing of things.

Shannon said...

Wow, Deeny, thanks for opening up and sharing all that! I never knew you worked for WW. Did I ever mention before on STC that working for them as a meeting leader was my goal?

I'm really glad to hear that you're taking steps to lose the weight and take care of yourself, but I don't think you should let shame get in the way of going back to meetings. This happens to people! I have at least 3 ladies in my Tuesday night meeting (that I know of) who are 2nd or 3rd time "restarters" who gained back most or all of their weight then came back. I don't think anyone will judge you, but if you truly can't bring yourself to go back for awhile, what about WW online? You get access to all the tools- points database, weight tracker, etc plus the message boards are great.

Looking forward to chatting WW with you, and I know you can do it again!